Over Coming Self-Doubt

Hey, why are you doubting yourself?!

You have already accomplished so much in your life.

Do you remember everything you’ve gone through to make you the person that you are today? Think about it : the good, the bad and everything in between. What experiences, obstacles and trauma did you go through to become the person you are today?

Here’s the beauty of it all - despite all that you have gone through, you have persevered.

You have taken on life. Was it hard? Heck, yes. But here’s a secret:

Life is Hard. It’s not meant to be easy and every time you take a risk, you grow into the person you are right now. Right at this moment.

So why are you doubting yourself now after all that you have accomplished?

When those feelings of self-doubt come creeping in, I want you to remember that your doubts and your fears do not define you. You are more than that - You are a gifted, ambitious and complex human being in a physical body that is defined more than just by your thoughts and feelings. Your past does not define you. Your future is guided by the risks you will take.

Stand up and be stronger than those thoughts pulling you down. Because that’s all self-doubt is – a bunch of thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself.

Strength is how you shut down the voice in your head that says, “I'm not good enough."

There are so many scary moments that can prevent you from moving forward like becoming a first time mom, going for a job you don't think you’re qualified for, losing the weight you’ve said you’re going to lose, starting a new business and the list goes on.

You only know how brave and strong you are when you get INTENTIONALLY UNCOMFORTABLE and face your fears. That means trying new things, or going for a job that you may not think or be qualified for, that means trying your best and even if you don’t get the end result, you are stronger because of the process.

Let me give you an example:

When I was 19 years old, I remember being asked by my coworker, “are you applying for that job? You'd be great at it.” And my initial thought was, “there’s no way. I’m too young, I’m too inexperienced. I don’t have the qualifications. There are so many people ahead of me that should get this that are way more prepared. Who am I to go for this job?”

Even though I would have loved to have this job. Even though I was really good at leading people.

So I intentionally went for this job, knowing I was uncomfortable with the idea of being judged as a candidate.

And you know what? I got the job and it change the trajectory of my life.

I will sometimes reflect on this moment and ask myself how would my life be different if I didn't apply for that job? Where would I be because of it?

You see, self-doubt is like a lioness ready to pounce at any time. Self-doubt brings out the “what ifs” loud and right in your face.

What If I fail? What will my family/my coworkers/my friends think?

What If I’m just not cut out for this? What will people think if they see me struggle?

What If I can’t do as I said I would do? What will people think if I fail?

Here’s something you need to know right now:

Stop making life decisions based on what you think others will think of you because no one is thinking of you.

This may sound harsh but it’s the truth. Jessica from high school that you haven’t seen for 15 years but that has you on Insta is not thinking that you should be further ahead in life. Sarah from your swimming competitive days is not judging you by the weight you put on from COVID.

And if they are, you need to start removing them from your social media and your life, and surrounding yourself with light but that’s a whole other article.

So here’s the message: No one except you cares about what other people MIGHT be thinking. No one is doubting you - they are too wrapped up with doubting their own self.

6 Quick Ways to Over Come Self-Doubt:

1. Identify your values – what do you stand for? Who are you? Check out our article on Finding your Values if you are looking for ways to find what matters most to you in this life.
   

2. Reflect on your achievements – Remember all that you’ve already accomplished! Write it down! You are a badass woman/man who has already achieved so much!

3. TRY TRY TRY not to compare yourself to others – remember, people’s lives on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook are not reality. They are snip-its of their best lives. Not the struggles, not the down days (not most) and leave you feeling crappier about yourself. Fix yourself from within and you won’t need to compare to others.

4. Find validation from within – Acknowledge the self-doubt when it creeps in. “oh hey, it’s you again self-doubt. I hear you but I’m working on bettering myself so I’m going to focus on taking risks.” You are already amazing. Acknowledge and move forward despite of.

5. Journal - see where your fears and doubts come from so you can recognize when they creep in most. By journaling your thoughts and when you have self-doubt, you can find patterns in your thinking and ultimately recognize when self-doubt will creep in and deal with it head on.

6. Get professional help – either through a therapist that addresses your past or a coach who takes your past and helps shape your future.

Everyone has self-doubt, but the people that are most successful in life are celebrating their lives in the present with minimal regret when they die. Sadly, a high percentage of elderly people have so much regret of what they would have done, should have done and could have done if only the what ifs didn’t get in the way.

Enough already. You have time now. You are not on your deathbed. You are young, vibrant and ready to take on life.

Make a change and start stepping out of your comfort zones and shutting off the voices of self-doubt in your head.

And remember that in the tough times:

You are human. You are resilient. You are loved and you CAN be brave.